Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
no more duck duck goose at the bar
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
