He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
