So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
