Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
