I can't watch pbs sober anymore
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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