wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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