You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
