i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
