I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
