I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
