what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
