Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
