i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize