After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
