Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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