So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
