yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
