operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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