Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
