My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
My balls are so social today.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
