I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
