would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Randomize
