So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I have already put on my inside pants.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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