Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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