Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize