can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
