i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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