Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
