I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
