i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
