Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
