Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
