I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Just high enough for therapy.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
