3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
