Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
