Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
