Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Randomize
