I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
