Pregnant stripper...not hot.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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