You're a womanizer and a bitch.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
