It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
