I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
