oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Terrible idea I love it
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
