I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
