we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
