soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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