NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
