dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
