I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
