Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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