At least make sure they are 18
Why
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I have tasted many bathrooms
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize