I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I have feelings that need drinking.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
