Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
