let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
