he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
