Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
