all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
