Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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