So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
