I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
