I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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