Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize